


Stars

by methuselahsattemptatlife



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Post Season 2, Spoilers for Season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-27 18:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12588256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/methuselahsattemptatlife/pseuds/methuselahsattemptatlife
Summary: Johnathan and Nancy had a connection. It only takes a phone call to rekindle it; have they been worried about the same things?





	1. Snapshots

Nights had become too long for her. Cold air whispered passed her cheek as the AC struggled to keep up with the humid summer night, her blankets too heavy and too hot so she kicked them off angrily. Her electric blue eyes opened and glared holes in the ceiling. Turning her head, Nancy Wheeler glanced out the window. Nothing but two black squares stared back at her. Nightmares that had chased them for two years still crawled into her ear and appeared in her dreams sometimes to remind her of their power - her bed never seemed warm enough; her window never locked tight enough; above all else, no light in the room could banish her fear of what might occupy the dark. Nothing could rid her of these nightmares, it seemed. And tonight she knew she was in for the long haul.

Sitting up, she sighed dramatically. It had been a long time since she’d slept well. Junior year was almost over, all their trauma had passed, and yet… Rest avoided her. Demidogs. Shadow monsters. Vines. Things she’d almost lost friends and family to. Things she had lost Barb to. Her patience with this insomnia was wearing off. Eventually she’d just lose her mind – that much she knew – but who knew what else could happen to her brain because of this? She ran her fingers through her short hair and glanced at the clock. It was only midnight.

 _I would sleep better if someone else was here,_ Nancy thought quietly. _When Johnathan was here… well, I didn’t sleep then either._

She flushed. It had been a while since she thought about him like that. She’d seen him on and off since the night they slept together, but neither of them had the courage to initiate a relationship. Anyway, Steve still wanted to be with her. Nancy slipped out of bed and down the stairs, headed into the dark kitchen. She wasn’t so sure what she wanted. As she filled a glass with tap water she thought about Steve. Boyish and handsome and charming. It was good with Steve – the sex, the kissing, the conversation. But he wasn’t the brightest in the bunch.  

Cold water slipped down her throat, cooling her internally but making her hotter externally. Her feet were chilled on the hardwood floor as she took a seat at the dining room table. Johnathan had those same big, dark eyes that Steve had; darker even than Steve’s. His dirty blond hair ghosted over his sharp cheek bones and his piercing gaze, which was like being shot close-range by twin laser beams. The guy was like an x-ray machine aimed at your heart. He was intelligent and empathetic, quiet and knowing. Johnathan knew things – things normal people never even considered. Johnathan’s dark eyes were heavy: with secrets, longings… and who knew what else? Nancy’s chest twisted into knots.

He had gotten her though much more than Steve had. They had hunted that monster together, tracked conspiracies together, and even defended their siblings together. They were bonded. She jumped when the AC kicked on high. Cursing internally, she mopped up the water she’d spilled on the table and sighed, pushing the cup away. She folded her arms on the table with her head cushioned on them and slowly she relaxed every muscle in her body. A deep breath whooshed out of her. Her eyes slid closed. The ghost of Johnathan’s hands touching her in the dark still lingered on her skin; his mouth grabbing onto hers, feeling fireworks going off between them as she put her arms around his neck and held on for dear life. Her body reacting to him. The way he made love to her had been nothing like Steve’s fast-fuck-sessions. Then again, it had been a long time since she’d first been with Steve. She was sure that at the beginning it had been magical, too? She tried hard to remember.

Nancy glanced at the front door. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d wished Johnathan would walk through that door with Will at his heels, coming to pick her up for a date or a drive. Whenever Steve was on his way over the anticipation was tedious; it was annoying, even. Whenever Johnathan came to drop off Will…

Nancy put her cup in the sink and flung herself back into bed. She shut her eyes and wondered, was Johnathan thinking about her, too?

 

* * *

 

 

Despite the humidity, Johnathan Byers’ window was open wide, the result of which being their AC having conked out three days beforehand. His room was a jumble of wires; the spare TV was hooked up to Bob’s video camera, which he had used almost every day since Halloween recording his mother and Will, every moment he thought was worth preserving. That was unfortunately a lot of moments – and a lot of tapes. Stacked around the TV and all over the room were the small tapes from the camera, adding to the moderate disorder of things. Johnathan often cleaned his room to keep his mother happy, or to clear his head on a rainy day when he was feeling the tug of loneliness.

Sitting up in bed, not even trying to sleep in this heat, Johnathan flipped a tape into the deck and waited for it to play. It popped onto the screen with a buzz and began to roll silently; the volume was turned all the way down, so when the people on the tape spoke their lips moved but nothing came out. It was the night of the snowball. Their mother Joyce was teaching Will how to dance, flinging him all over the living room and twirling like he could hang on and ignoring the horrified look on his face.

 _‘Do you have to record everything?’_ Will mouthed at the camera. Joyce laughed. Johnathan heard his own reply in his head, although he knew he wouldn’t hear it: _Not everything,_ he’d said. _Only the important stuff._

He’d recorded Will as often as possible – drawing, doing homework, biking off to be with his friends. Those things seemed mundane right now but in the future, it would be impossible for him to remember every normal detail of his life. His trauma would make sure of that. Johnathan was just… preparing for the worst. Every time he dreamed, it was about that shadow monster. Will’s drawing was burned into his brain, its long arms and gigantic body looming over the town refusing to give him any peace. Johnathan ran a hand down his tired face. Every time he dreamed, it was about that shadow monster hurting his little brother.

 _It never even came into our reality,_ Johnathan thought. _Why am I afraid of something I’ve never seen before?_ But he knew why. He shut off the TV and got up to shut the blinds; he was tired of being afraid of something vague like a dream. Lying down in bed, he rolled onto his side and shut his eyes. All his blankets were mounded into a hill on the floor. His body, naked except for his underwear, released its own heat into the already stuffy room. Even with his door open there was no relief from the temperature. He tried to take his mind off it, tried to relax, but all he could think about was that thing.

Suddenly, a picture of Nancy popped up in his mind. His brain paused. Her pale face, her dimpled smile, her laughing blue eyes; he thought about what she’d been doing all this time. Did she miss him? They’d met a few times, at school and around town, but they hadn’t hung out since the vines. The night they’d stayed with that conspiracy theorist and sent tapes to the government about Barb was their last time alone. He flushed at the memory. The back and forth, couch and bed, then the way she’d jumped on him when the door finally opened… That night lived in his memory like a video tape, playing on repeat over and over.

Did she think about that night, too? Was it a good memory? Was she back with Steve again? He pushed his face into his pillow. Hopefully she wasn’t, but... it wasn’t exactly like they’d made things official. Officially over with Steve or officially together with him, either. He thought about the Snowball. She’d shared long smiling glances with him, lover’s glances. She seemed eager to be with him. But… what if the sex had been bad? What if she was just being nice?

 _That’s stupid,_ he thought. _Nancy doesn’t hide her feelings. Not really._ He rubbed his eyes and tried to sleep. _Tomorrow, I’ll call her,_ he thought resolutely.

 

* * *

 

 

When the phone rang, Nancy was tying her hair up in the bathroom. Mike picked up the phone and said hello but whoever was on the other line immediately slammed down the phone and hung up. Staring at it oddly, Mike replaced the phone on the cradle. He grabbed his backpack on the way to the car and yelled up the stairs for his sister to hurry. Then he bolted.

Nancy grabbed her purse and a jacket from her room before heading to the stairs. They were driving out to a summer festival today, and Eleven – well, Jane - was allowed to come. Mike hadn’t seen her since the Snowball. None of them had. The phone rang a second time when she was on the threshold, and she had to double back to answer it.

“Hello?” She said, an impatient question.

“Nancy,” Johnathan breathed. His voice crackled over the line, sending sparks up and down Nancy’s spine.

“Johnathan,” she whispered.

Johnathan cleared his throat. “Bad time?”

Nancy’s jaw dropped. “No… No! Not at all! W-What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” Johnathan blurted. “It’s… Will’s fine. We’re fine.”

“Good. I… I know your mom was upset about Bob, is she ok?”

“Yeah… Hopper has sort of… moved in.”

“To your house?”

“To our lives,” Johnathan clarified.

“Oh.” Nancy was temporarily at a loss for words. “That’s… new.”

“But she’s okay. We’re okay. Nancy…”

“Yes?”

From the car, Mike was leaning out the window yelling, “NANCY! COME ON!”

Johnathan’s breath hitched. “Can I come pick you up?”

“Now?”

“Is that ok?”

Nancy glanced at the family car. A whole day with her weird family at the festival? Pass. “Yeah,” she smiled. “That’d be great. Hang on a second, Johnathan.” She carefully put the phone down on the table and sprinted out to the car, leaning into the passenger’s side window where her mom was giving her the same scolding that Mika was.

“I’m not going,” Nancy said. “I’m not really feeling well.”

“Well are you okay?” Mrs. Wheeler pressed anxiously.

“Yeah, I’ll just hang out here today,” Nancy assured her. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, honey,” Ms. Wheeler said, her big dark eyes worried but reserved. “Feel better.”

“Bye!” Mike blurted. “Let’s go already!”

“All right, all right, calm your horses!” Mr. Wheeler monotoned.

“It’s ‘hold your horses’,” Mrs. Wheeler snapped.

Nancy stepped away from the car and watched it pull away, waving. The big family Sudan rolled over the thin pavement and disappeared around the corner with her weird family inside. She ran back inside to the phone.

“Johnathan?” She said into the receiver.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Come now.”

“W… Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye, Nancy.”

Click. Nancy let her hand linger on the phone for a beat of time. She was already dressed in a lace dress and a jean jacket, she was dolled up with an acceptable amount of make-up; now all she had to do was wait. And plan. What was she going to say? What was he going to say? They were going to be alone here… all day… She glanced upstairs. Her room was a _mess!_

She launched herself back up the steps like a bottle rocket running on jet fuel.


	2. Memories

Johnathan dressed in a flurry of motion. Jeans without holes in the thighs, a clean shirt, his favorite jacket and boots – and after all that, he froze in front of the mirror. He hadn’t brushed his hair since last night so it looked like he’d been struck by lightning. His clothes were crooked, too! He was so excited about seeing Nancy he’d been about to leap into the car looking like a wreck. Grinning at his own rashness, he snatched up a comb and raked it through his knotted hair. He was acting like a giddy little kid.

 _Calm down,_ he told himself sternly. _Don’t be like this around Nancy. She’ll think you’re nuts!_

Johnathan took a minute to straighten his clothes and fix his jean cuffs before he headed out into the hall. He began impatiently to rummage for his car keys in the key bowl when Will came out, wiggling into his jacket. His big brown eyes went from the key bowl to his big brother.

“Aren’t you coming with us today?” Will asked.

Turning to look at him, keys in hand, Johnathan gave the keys a guilty glance. “Oh, uh… not today, buddy. The festival is in town for the weekend. We’ll go together tomorrow, okay?”

“But we decided to go today,” Will protested. “Where are you going?”

Johnathan was already halfway out the door. “Tomorrow, I promise!” He called.

Joyce Byers stepped out of the bathroom and leaned out, fixing the collar of her shirt. Sparkling earrings dangled from her ears. “Where is your brother going, Will?”

“I don’t know.” Will grabbed his backpack. “Not to the festival. Can we go now? Please?”

Joyce smiled. “Sure, honey. Go get in the car.” She grabbed her purse and a banana and walked outside with Will on her heels, locking the door behind them. Gravel crunched beneath the wheels of Johnathan’s car; she paused to watch her oldest son pull out of the driveway and vanish, feeling a spark of annoyance. He hadn’t even said anything to her today. She brushed it aside as she climbed into her own car with Will. Johnathan was an adult now. He could do what he wanted. Joyce popped the car into reverse and swung out into the road.

 

* * *

 

 

Nancy’s room was spotless ten minutes later. She sat, exhausted, on the end of her bed. _I probably should have done that before I invited him over,_ she laughed at herself. She tossed a pink blouse into the closet and glanced out the window. Her heart dropped. That’s the same window Steve climbed through for the first time, over a year ago, to make out with her over her chemistry homework. He had often shown up at that window when they were dating to stay the night. She could still see his converse stepping over her stuffed bears and his jeans stretching over his thighs. The feeling of suddenly being held down by his warm hands and pretty eyes was one that, truthfully, she missed. Steve had been the first.

But things had changed for her after Barb had disappeared. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Nancy frowned. She and Johnathan had also scrambled through that window together – it had been at two in the morning a few days later, covered in blood and bile after chasing some insane monster called the Demogorgon. She never forgot the way he had quietly made a bed on the floor that night just to keep her company. She never forgot the silent fear, the longing, or the spark in his dark eyes when she told him to lie in bed with her. All night, she’d watched the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. His warmth and company had been small comfort at the time. Still, it had been the first night they’d shared together. How had he felt then?

She looked down at her hands. Johnathan had clearly liked her from the start. He had to watch her date Steve, the guy who smashed his camera and had two awful friends. She’d never broken up with Steve. Even after Will had returned, she’d waited a month for Johnathan to come and see her – to come back to her. But he never had. _Will needed me_ , he’d said. While that much was true, a lot had happened to them. They shared that. Without him around, things just seemed too… fake. Too normal. _What did I want from him?_ She wondered. _To fight Steve for me?_

Dating Steve after that had been just like acting. I’m normal, he’s normal, no one fought a Demogorgon – we’re all normal here. He loved her. He’d wanted to stay local and stick around her, and for the most part he still did. Steve dropped by to say hi sometimes. But he didn’t stay; she didn’t let him stay. It was over between them. Nancy wasn’t the same girl who had lay in his bed that night and made love to him when both of them had been totally oblivious of Barb’s disappearance. That night held a sort of scar for her. Dating Steve was like being forced to look at that scar every single day, something she blamed herself for, over and over again. The only way for her to move on was to connect with someone else - with Johnathan. At least, that’s what she thought.

When she heard his car, she leapt up and ran to the window. He was here. The electricity in her belly made her knees weak and her head spin. She ran down the stairs, but stopped before the door to compose herself. It had been a long time. Hopefully it would be just the same as it had been before all this weirdness. She turned the doorknob and stepped confidently out onto the porch.

The morning light was beautiful. Johnathan parked in the place her family car had been, stepping onto the pavement and into the light. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was still hanging soft and strange over his narrow dark eyes – his was shy when she looked at him, but he didn’t shrink away. Instead he seemed to swell. He smiled at her with obvious relief; it lit up his handsome face and made her heart flutter.

To Nancy, Johnathan didn’t look like a fond memory. He wasn’t some dream or some means to an end. Here to her, right now, Johnathan looked like just what she needed – he looked like just the place she wanted to be.

 

* * *

 

 

Johnathan went to Nancy, standing on the porch in front of her, both of them safe and alone. It was just like he’d wanted for almost a year. He was filled with her blue eyes, her dimples, her pale face and beautiful freckles, his head muddling his thoughts. “You look beautiful,” he said suddenly, surprising them both, and then he cleared his throat. “It’s good to see you, Nancy.”

She lit up, radiant and calm. “Thanks, Johnathan. It’s good to see you too.”

He followed her inside, glancing around furtively. No one else was home. The car was gone, but he still felt nervous being in her house alone. Mike and the others always seemed to pop up where you least expected them. “Did your family go to the festival?” He asked.

“Yeah, but I told them I wasn’t feeling well,” Nancy said on her way upstairs.

Johnathan blushed. She’d lied for him. He put his hands in his pockets and he watched her ankles as they went up the stairs, avoiding looking at her backside. He caught a glimpse of the familiar wallpaper along the stairs and realized then how often he was actually here without seeing her. This house was so familiar to him. Why didn’t he ever come visit before?

Nancy sat on the end of her bed. Johnathan walked around, looking out the window and having the same flashbacks of that night that she’d had only a minute earlier. She looked at him intently as if she could tell what he was thinking about. He glanced back at her. “It’s been a long time. You know, since then.”

“Yeah.” Fiddling with the hem of her shirt, she glanced out the window too. “I’m just glad it’s all over.”

Johnathan eased to sit down beside her. “Is it?”

“What do you mean?”

Wavering, Johnathan debated on whether or not this conversation was where he wanted to go. According to the look in her eyes he had no choice now; he shouldn’t have brought it up. Not now. “I mean,” he began slowly. “Will saw that thing. It lives on the other side. What if it finds a way to open another portal?”

“That won’t happen,” Nancy replied calmly. “El is the one who opened and closed the portal. No one else can do that.”

“How do we know that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… isn’t her name… eleven?” Johnathan bit his lip. “Where are the other ten?”

Nancy stared at him. He was right, but he hoped that she could see that he didn’t want to be right. Johnathan averted his eyes as an apology for bringing up the traumatic past. He nervously rubbed his hands together, shrugging and offering some words of rebuttal to his own words. Nancy stopped him. “That may be,” Nancy said finally, “but there’s no guarantee that the others are as strong as she is. That may be why she was the only one in the lab. The others… I don’t know, maybe they failed somehow?”

Johnathan was flooded with relief. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Still, that’s a good point,” she admitted. “We can’t just forget about the dangerous parts of our lives. It’s never really over for good.”

“I just… I don’t want it all to happen again.”

“I know that. It’s alright, Johnathan.”

“No it isn’t,” he said quietly, laughing at himself. “The first time I see you in months and that’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

Both of them lapsed into a respectful silence; sure, it wasn’t the topic of choice for a lovers’ conversation, but they were connected through a bond forged under stress. Stress which was caused by the upside down and everything that came with it. It was a strong bond that went beyond friends and lovers but it was a familiar rut they always seemed to fall into, these dark thoughts. Neither of them could be free of it. Too much had happened.

“It’ll always be a part of us,” Nancy murmured. “I don’t think we should be ashamed of that.” She touched his knee and their eyes met. “We survived.”

Adams apple bobbing, Johnathan looked away and made a series of nervous facial motions as he tried to disperse his negative thoughts. He didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer. Quickly he shook his head. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“So how have you been?” Nancy pressed. “How’s Will?”

“He’s good.” Johnathon smiled. “He’s… different. But he seems happy. Really happy.”

“And you?” Nancy teased.

He looked at her in surprise. Only his mother ever really asked him how he was, and what teenage boy was going to tell his mother how he was, really? Especially when he was pining over a girl he could very easily have if he just stepped up and acted like… well, like he needed her as much as he felt like he did. He tried to think, studying her face. “I’m better now, I guess. Before I wasn’t really sure if I’d ever fit in with people. But now… I’ve decided that’s impossible,” he joked, and they erupted into laughter.

 

* * *

 

 

“I think we’re all feeling a bit stranger than last year,” Nancy chuckled. She was glad that with Johnathan things were always the same. Comfortable. His words were like waves of relief. She felt him next to her and it was like everything was real again; there was no more pretending, no more lies or guilt. Only them. “I know Mike and his friends will never be the same. I mean… he’s dating a telepathic refugee!” She exclaimed.

“I know!” Johnathan cried. “Our lives sound like some kind of comic book!”

Nancy laughed. “Crazy, right?”

“Crazy.”

She pictured Eleven: curly brown hair swept back, raccoon eyeshadow, and cute-as-a-button puppy-dog eyes for her brother. “I still can’t believe it.”

“Me either. I can relate to Mike, though,” Johnathan looked at her intently with those deep, dark eyes. “Strong-willed girls are my type, too.”

All at once his boyish good looks overwhelmed her, sending sparks flying in her belly. The rush of feelings shocked her. God, she’d missed this. Their eyes read the same, said the same things to one another. Nancy took a sharp breath as her heart fluttered against her ribs like a caged bird. She touched his hand and it twisted together with hers; they drew together, magnetized.

Their noses brushed as they shared a hushed kiss. Fireworks went off between them.  Nancy tasted him like it had been years since they’d last been together. Johnathan felt her urgency and mirrored it. There was something intense and different about his mouth that she’d never felt before, but it felt good. She wanted it. She wanted him. Lying back on the bed, she dragged him with her. He’d fumbled plenty the first time they’d had sex – he, after all, had never even kissed a girl before then – but their bodies knew one another. They moved fluidly together. He shifted, she shifted, and vice versa. As he lay on top of her and proceeded to worship her body the way boys did when they were in love, by pressing each part the same way and refusing to leave an inch of her skin unoccupied, there was a fumble for a fumble, a gasp for a gasp. Only with him did Nancy feel truly like equals.

His fingertips dragged across her flesh like shock pads, sending ripples of pleasure across her entire body. He treated her clothes and her desires with respect; each movement he made, she responded with desperation. The way she did this seemed to drive him crazy.

He let her strip him, paused in their feverish trance and straining to contain himself. When there was nothing left between them he curved her body into positions she didn’t even know existed. He made sweet, full love to her, wild with need and brimming with intensity. She focused on his body, his chest, his mouth; he was fuller than last time, stronger, but his lithe build and insistent hips were still the same. His hands found all her neglected curves, squeezing her fondly. His palms fit into the familiar spots where they belonged.

She writhed. He kissed her when he moved slowly and she moaned into his mouth. Between them it was magic. The first time had been exactly this good and she knew now that it would be like this every time. Her doubts vanished. Her body took over, dragging pleasure from every drop of him that graced her figure. She kissed him until neither of them could hold back anymore. Then the way he took her in his hands and finished her was like an explosive finale, and she pulsated with ecstasy. His last hard stroke ended outside of her; then, it was done.

 They lay panting together for a long time, sprawled out side by side and staring at the ceiling. “We _have_ to go on more dates,” Johnathan joked.

“We have to go on _one_ date first,” Nancy countered sarcastically.

Johnathan groaned as he sat up on one elbow. He looked just as beautiful exhausted as he did vital and brimming with lust. “Let’s go get dinner tonight,” he said suddenly. “Just you and me. A real date, I swear.”

Nancy grinned. “No sex?”

He glanced at their naked bodies dumbly. “It’s a bit late for that now.”

“Where?”

“Italian. Somewhere classy – there’s a place across town I know.”

Laughing, Nancy lifted her hand and ran it through his hair, pushing it out of his face. She loved his knitted brow and the warmth she saw in his eyes. “Sounds like a date,” she smiled.


	3. Matters of Heart

All day long they lay around Nancy’s room talking about school, the past, the present and the future; Nancy complained about her family, contradicting herself several times in an effort to show that she actually still did love them, they were just crazy, or whatever, like all families. He told her about his dad. That was easier than he had expected it to be. She talked with him forever about the smallest, vaguest things, and Johnathan was over the moon. He had been afraid of what the intensity of sex might do to their relationship, but to his pleasant surprise Nancy was exactly the way she always was. Herself. No matter what subject came up, or what strange thought he voiced, she made him feel at ease. Just being in her presence had a therapeutic effect.

He looked at her with stars in his eyes.

The next step was a shaky one. They did go on that date, complete with awkward silences and shy smiles, but the second Nancy brought up his photography it was nothing but smooth sailing all night. Seized with the intensity of happiness, Johnathan expended every last drop of his energy on paying attention to Nancy. His eyes never left her. He laughed when she laughed, took her hand every chance he got, and he was so busy filling himself with her that he barely touched his plate. Nancy was radiant and, he guessed, nervously chatty. But they split the bill on her insistence and the kind dark waiter brought their change quickly. Nancy held Johnathan’s hand as they walked around the small town together in the dark, silence and a breathless anticipation hanging over the both of them.

The air was warm and their hands were wound so tightly that Johnathan couldn’t feel his fingers anymore. She kept bumping into his shoulder, urging him to move forward, but with what he had no idea. When they passed his car a second time he finally stopped her. She looked at him and her brilliant eyes said it all. He could barely breathe.

“Nancy,” he managed. “I want to make this… us… regular. Normal.”

Suddenly Nancy looked like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff. Her were round as dinner plates and they searched him closely. “You’re… sure?” She whispered. Her fear frightened him. What was she afraid of? Not him, surely?

Johnathan slowly shook his head. A nervous chuckle rattled his chest. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Me either,” she said, which surprised him even more than her fear.

“What - not even with…?”

Nancy’s smile was like a sunrise. “No.”

A warm, pleasant feeling spread through Johnathan’s body, loosening his tongue and draining away the tension keeping him stiff as a board. He moved forward and took both of her hands, looking into her eyes so she could see what he felt, exactly as he felt it, for her. “Will you be mine? For real – no more bullshit.”

“You want to go steady?” Nancy was smiling so much that it was a wonder she could speak at all. “Is that… really what you want?”

“Yes,” he exclaimed. “That’s _exactly_ what I want – it’s what I’ve wanted all along!”

“Me?” She trembled.

Shaking from head to toe, Johnathan took her face tenderly in his hands, gulping. “You,” he whispered.

Nancy looked at him like he was the last man on earth. She bit her lip. “Okay. Yeah, okay.”

Johnathan’s heart imploded. His blood skittered around in his veins, heart slamming his ribcage, and he touched his forehead to hers and laughed suddenly to release his nerves into the air between them. She dragged him forward by the jacket collar and kissed him hard; they stood in the middle of the parking lot in the most intimate embrace either of them had ever experienced. The air was electric.

Something happened that night. Johnathan felt changed. He felt like a new man - a new person - now that he’d finally gotten the girl of his dreams. Sex was one thing, but Nancy really, genuinely wanted to be with him. He knew at that moment that he was the luckiest guy alive. He looked into her eyes and he knew that he was going to spend the rest of his life proving to her that giving him a chance… hadn’t been a mistake.

Johnathan Byers drove his girlfriend home with his arm around her tightly. She sat in the middle bench seat of his 1971 Ford Galaxie 500, her head on his shoulder and her hand on his knee. It was late. The moon peeked out of the lush canopy of trees, watching them cruise down the empty backroads of their backwater town. This was a moment caught in time. Neither of them would ever forget this feeling of completion.

Just before curfew Nancy’s house came into view, and she lifted her head up to see if her parents were home. They were. Johnathan pulled up carefully and they walked to the front door together.

“I had fun tonight,” Nancy said once they’d reached the porch. Her eyes said much more, and Johnathan listened attentively to each and every word.

“Me too,” he replied lamely. Then, recovering: “You’re so beautiful, Nancy. I feel like I’m dreaming.”

She laughed like tinkling bells. “Want me to pinch you?”

He grinned. “Nah, I’ll come to my senses eventually.”

“I hope not,” she teased, and kissed him.

Their lips were made for each other; every slow touch caused sparks to dance across Johnathan’s skin, and his mind was foggy when they parted. He blinked until he could see her clearly in the florescence of the porch light. Her freckles looked like constellations. He smiled. “Goodnight, Nancy.”

She touched his hand one last time without looking away. “Goodnight, Johnathan.”

After she’d vanished inside, he just stood there for a few minutes listening to her talk to her parents. No one notice him. No one even looked outside. Her mother was too busy scolding her, and her father was God knows where in the house, as apathetic as always. Turning around, he marched back to his car and turned over the engine, running both hands over the steering wheel. He glanced up at her window with one hand on the gear shift. He had a girlfriend. His first girlfriend. Johnathan Byers was dating Nancy Wheeler.

He pulled away with a stupid grin on his face. When he was far enough away, rushing down the street with the windows down, he whooped loudly enough for the whole county to hear. He screamed joyfully at the top of his lungs. “I DID IT!” He cried. “I DID IT!”

 

* * *

 

 

Nancy shut her bedroom door. With careful, practiced hands she changed into her pajamas, turned down her bedcovers, and sat on the end of the bed brushing her hair with her mind far away. A schoolgirl smile had plastered itself to her face. No matter how afraid she was of losing another strong relationship, another hurt like she’d hurt Steve, nothing could contain the joy in her heart that she felt when she recalled the look in Johnathan’s eyes. Again she conjured that look in her imagination. He’d had that look all day and all night. It was like nothing she’d ever seen before. Steve looked at her with this soft, selfish hunger, but Johnathan… he looked at her differently. It wasn’t hunger, or desire, or even admiration, but something completely new and different. His eyes held the weight of the universe in them. It was intense, that was for sure. But she was a woman now. She knew that look.

Johnathan Byers was in love with her.

 

* * *

 

 

“So my sister is dating my best friend’s brother?” Mike asked, appalled. “That’s… that’s gross!”

“Shut up,” Nancy said shortly. “Johnathan is a big part of what happened. He’s one of us.”

“So was Steve,” Mike pointed out.

His words cut Nancy to the quick. She fell furiously silent, and her mother cut in to scold Mike. “Johnathan has always been good to us, and he’s a great kid,” their mother protested. “Why don’t you give him a chance? You might even get used to the idea.” She then added teasingly, “If they get married, you and Will will be brothers.”

Mike perked up. “How does that work?”

“His entire family will be our In-Laws,” their dad explained dully. “Like sticking two families together and relating them by law, and eventually, through kids, by blood.”

“Mom! Dad!” Nancy cried. “We are not getting _married!”_

Her mother smiled. “Well not now, but someday!”

“What she said.” Her father bit into his waffles apathetically.

“Oh my God, I cannot listen to this right now.” Nancy threw down her napkin and stormed to the door, grabbing her backpack off the couch. Her blood felt like it was on fire. She decided to walk to school to cool off; since it was still early, she might make it in time for first period.

Her mind was a hurricane of angry thoughts. _Married!_ She thought furiously. _After seeing how awful my parents’ lives are? As if!_

She was trembling all over. It took her about halfway to realize why she was so furious; first of all, Mike was a little shit. Second of all, she really, really liked Johnathan, and her family was making it into a joke. She hadn’t taken things too seriously with Steve because of the fire he’d lit inside her; it had been too dangerous to try and control, so she’d let herself go, let herself be consumed by it. But when it burned itself out, she had nothing left.

She didn’t love Steve. They had nothing in common; not hobbies, or opinions… and sometimes his heart was so different from hers that it had scared her. They were too different. To her, they were too different to make it work. She couldn’t love somebody who wasn’t a part of her.

Nancy yanked open her locker, grabbed her books, and sank exhausted into her desk in first period just as the bell rang. Her anger had cooled into a simmer. She held onto that anger, rolling it over in her head repeatedly until she nursed a grudge. She hadn’t been serious about Steve. Ever. With Johnathan things were different. She was serious about the way he made her feel. There were a thousand reasons why it could work out between them, and very few reasons why it might not and to her, that meant something. As terrified as she was, she knew what she wanted. Why couldn’t they see how terrified and excited and in love she was?

Her heart dropped into her shoes. _Am I…am I really in love?_ It was hard to believe. She didn’t know what that romantic love felt like. When it came from boys, sure she knew, but she’d never loved anyone that way. Not really. Nancy glanced down at her book. A red envelope was sticking out of her history textbook. Pulling it out, she broke the seal and pulled out a piece of notebook paper with a haiku written on it. The scrawled handwriting read:

_Connect your freckles_

_And I will name them like stars,_

_Like constellations._

_X_

Nancy’s heart skipped a beat.

Boys could love so easily, so freely, with all their hearts. So why was she so unsure of herself? Her teacher dropped the textbook on his desk to startle the class into silence and all the chattering came to an end, as did her train of thought.

She did her work diligently. She wanted to keep herself busy because she was trying to get her mind off of her love life. It wasn’t good to overthink things like this. She and Johnathan had a good shot, and she didn’t want to be the one that screwed that up. Worrying would get her nowhere but still all she could see were her own faults. She was too stubborn and flighty, too eager to please, and too hard to win over. For all her defensive walls being taken down, what did she really feel?

What if she was just fooling herself into thinking she loved Johnathan? For a long time, that’s what she did with Steve. She could still see his heartbroken face when she’d been unable to tell him that she loved him. That memory still stung.

Johnathan had been worming his way into her heart for a long time. She’d been able to rely on him time and time again to fight by her side - to tell her the truth when no one else would, or could. He was the only one who understood her. She’d fucked him in a stranger’s basement and he’d asked nothing of her; no commitments, no reenactments, no pressure. It was the first time in her life that someone wasn’t putting pressure on her. Even Barb had pressured her to be a goody-two-shoes when all she’d wanted was to have sex with Steve and to just _live_ a little for once! Johnathan was the only one who let her be herself completely. No shame. No expectations.

Nancy glanced at the classroom door, hoping to catch a glimpse of him walking by in the hall. Her heart was clenched in her chest. An attractive blush filled her cheeks. She listened to her pulse racing in her ears and clutched her pencil too tightly. No. She wasn’t fooling anyone. For once, she was being completely honest with herself. She was in love with Johnathan Byers.


	4. Shaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the long stint between chapters, I'm chronically ill and a very busy college senior. Thanks for reading. :)

Johnathan smoothed his car around a curve and blew his bangs out of his face. His hands were practiced and patient at the wheel; his knuckles stood out in the sunlight when he gripped the wheel to make a turn. His knees fell apart as he drove. Nancy watched the curve of his body from the passenger’s seat and the shy, natural way that he held himself. He seemed conflicted with his self-image, and at all times seemed to be thinking about whether he approved of himself or not. He also had a habit of glancing at himself in the rearview and quickly looking away again. Maybe he was afraid of seeming vain in his self-deprecation.

 _Am I too shaggy,_ his hair asked? _Am I too thin,_ said his narrow hips, his legs? _Am I handsome enough?_

Still, a drop of happiness in his cup had gone a long way. Johnathan had been as bright as a Christmas light these days. He moved with more energy, talked more adamantly, and his eyes were full of stars. Seeing him smother his smiles to hide his feelings for her made her heart flutter. He loved her. And she wanted to memorize him. Her eyes weighed on him; he glanced over, and she smiled.

“So,” Nancy said slowly. “Hopper.”

Johnathan seemed uncomfortable. “Right. Well, since Bob died, you know, mom’s been in rough shape.”

 “I can’t even imagine.”

“Yeah. Hopper keeps… checking in on us. On her.”

“You think he’s making moves or something?”

“He is.” Johnathan said shortly. “I can’t stand it. I keep telling Will he’s just checking to see that he’s ok, but I know mom doesn’t feel that way about Hopper. She even seems afraid of him now.”

“Strange. Hopper doesn’t seem the type,” Nancy offered. It was difficult to gauge how bad the situation was without having experienced it. Wanting to contribute, Nancy withheld her opinion that he may be overreacting and decided that, although Johnathan _was_ bias, he wasn’t unreasonable by any means. It was probably as bad as he thought it was. She crossed her arms. “Did you talk to him about it?”

“There’s no talking to Hopper. He treats me like some kid,” Johnathan growled.

Nancy’s eyebrows rose in shock. She’d never known Johnathan to be angry like this, especially over something so small. The only thing that had sparked a fire in him was when Steve insulted his entire family last year; that fistfight they had had been the last time she’d experienced Johnathan’s fury. He was pretty scary when he needed to be. But he was scary in the way that an uncontrollable child was scary - with unfocused, unleashed anger - not in the way that stronger guys like Billy were scary. That alpha male shit wasn’t Johnathan. So why was he acting this way now, over his mother? Surely she could handle herself?

“Joyce is pretty independent, are you sure can’t just tell him to stop coming around?” Nancy asked kindly. “Your mom’s no push over.”

Johnathan shook his head. “She’s scared of him.”

“That can’t be his intention.”

“Of course not. He just wants my mom.” Johnathan made a face and seemed to relax a little. “I guess I’m just peeved.”

“A bit more than peeved,” Nancy joked. “It’s ok, Johnathan. Things will work themselves out in time. Maybe he’ll get the hint.”

Cracking a smile, Johnathan pulled up to the movie theater and eased into a parking spot. He turned off the car. “Or maybe Eleven will read his mind,” he joked.

Laughing, Nancy slipped out of the car. “That’s a reasonable possibility.”

The air was electric. Bright red light poured into the lobby of the theater as the sun set behind them, Johnathan’s slender hands illuminated in shades of scarlet as he slipped the teenage teller enough money for two tickets. A sequel to Indiana Jones had come out, called Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and the place was packed from floor to ceiling with avid fans excited for the first showing. Nancy held onto a corner of Johnathan’s jacket to keep track of him in the crowd. He reached back and took her hand, leading her safely into the theater amidst the horde. Nancy clutched his hand tightly. She would never forget how safe she felt in those hands.

They sat together in the center, trapped in on every side by giggling girls and loud fanboys. Johnathan passed her the popcorn he’d been protecting on their way up. He popped a piece in his mouth as she settled in, leaning towards him. His eyes didn’t leave her for a minute. She met his gaze and a spark passed between them.

Nancy’s heart pounded so hard that she clutched the popcorn too hard and dented the sides, making popcorn spilling into her lap. They laughed nervously as they cleaned it up, fingers brushing, sticky with butter and not a napkin in sight. Both of them ate the stray pieces competitively and licked their fingers clean like little kids. Johnathan drew close as he picked one kernel off her jacket; Nancy’s fingers curled into his collar, bringing him in for a kiss. He melted at her touch. The taste of him mixed with butter popcorn was tantalizing, so she kissed him sensuously, languidly, releasing his collar and touching his chest with her palm.

The lights dimmed around them. Pulling apart in surprise, they exchanged an anxious look. Johnathan put up the middle armrest and slid his arm around her. Nancy pressed against him. Both smiling, giddy, they fixed their eyes on the screen as the first commercials began to roll.

Nancy rested her hand on his knee in an attempt to be casual but she saw him swallow hard. Her eyes peeped at him from beneath her lashes. Burning hormones were growing deep in her belly. She touched her forehead to his chin and he kissed her there, his hand tightening around her waist as a beautiful blonde in a sparkling gold dress on screen emerged from a cloud of smoke and the movie began.

Suddenly, someone came late into the theater, their two friends crouching low behind them, and Nancy was horrified to see Steve coming up the stairs towards them. She focused her eyes strictly forward. Still, she could see him freeze as he recognized her. Her hand tightened on Johnathan’s knee.

“What is it?” He whispered.

The musical number in Chinese almost drowned out the sound of her reply. “Steve,” she hissed.

Johnathan’s chin jerked to see Steve settling into the row behind them. He was far away on the end, but Nancy felt him heat up the same as she did. Steve, here, ruining their second date? Only their luck. Johnathan lowered his lips to her ear. “Don’t let him bother you.”

His words and the warmth of his breath gave Nancy shivers. Despite her anxiety, she still had the urge to kiss him like no one was watching. She squelched this feeling. No need to piss Steve off; he had as much of a right to be here as they did, anyway.

They watched the movie with determination, but their excitement was poisoned by fear. Nancy tried to ward that fear off. She rubbed Johnathan’s leg with slow, easy motions, fanning the small flame lit inside her. The power she held over him was ridiculous - with one hand, she could muddle all the thoughts in his head. She wanted him. They hadn’t done much except make out since the day of their first date a week ago, and she was eager for more. After a while she could tell he was having trouble focusing. His hand moved reflexively, curling and uncurling his fingers against her soft dress, pulling her tightly against his side, and fidgeting more and more.

Nancy was paying very close attention to the movie. The famous singer did nothing but wail the entire movie, then Indiana Jones kissed her. Nancy sighed. Because clearly inviting men to have sex with you is what you do with men who treated you like you’re a screeching monkey. Suddenly Johnathan’s hand began to massage her hip. It was moving down her body slowly, sensuously, and Nancy knew Johnathan was striking back. Her spark burst into a flame. She struggled to watch the movie and deal with being turned on at the same time. All she could picture now was the bed shaking from how hard they’d make love later, and the roses that he’d bought her tonight beside the bed in a vase; then she wondered how hard the bed would have to rock to knock them off the night table.

She wiggled a bit helplessly against his teasing for the rest of the movie. When it was over they pushed through the crowd hoping to avoid Steve in the wave of satisfied fans. The movie had been gripping, screeching, and action-packed, and both of them were glad that it was over. In the lobby Johnathan got rammed into by some young kid trying to get passed them. The remaining unpopped and dangerously slippery popcorn kernels burst forth from the paper container, turning the floor into a dangerous game of slip and slide.

A tiny disaster occurred. They spent the next few minutes picking up the fallen, and both Nancy and Johnathan were recovering from tiny heart attacks. Once everyone was safe a janitor showed up to sweep it all away. The crowd was gone, revving their cars outside. Nancy and Johnathan exchanged a relieved glance. They still hadn’t seen Steve.

Then, walking out of the theater late, a group of stragglers passed them. The couple drew together and when they glanced back, they froze. In the doorway stood Steve.

Hands in his pockets, his eyes as dark as thunderheads, he eyed the couple venomously. Not a hint of old hurt lingered in his heart. His hair was swept back and his clothes were brand new; he looked fresh, crisp, but in a _Grease_ sort of way. Nancy had never seen him in such clean state before. His boyish rumpled get-up was gone.

“Nancy,” Steve enunciated carefully. “Johnny boy.”

“Hey, Steve,” Nancy managed. Johnathan was silent beside her.

Steve drew his anger behind a curtain. “Date night for the happy couple?”

Johnathan’s eyes no longer burned like twin coals; he regarded Steve watchfully, unsure yet unafraid.

Nancy, on the other hand, was gripped with panic. “You look good.” She studied his face. “Did you get a promotion?”

“More like… a loan,” Steve smirked. He walked smoothly between them on his way to the door. Unhurried, unaffected, he paused on the threshold to look Johnathan up and down. “Enjoy your downgrade.” The double glass doors creaked open. He was gone, consumed by the night.

It was a dark night; outside the sky was pitch black, all the headlights retreating down Main Street one by one until the area around the theater was gapingly empty. Johnathan stood close to Nancy as they listened to Steve’s car peel out of the parking lot. She could feel the hurt wafting off him. Before she could speak, he touched her hand.

“Let’s go,” he said.

Nancy walked with him to the car in silence. The town, now empty of people, seemed eerie to her. She was eager to climb into the car and leave. But Johnathan hovered by the passenger’s side door, staring out at the town with a stony gaze. His heart was icing over. He was cold.

“You don’t think I’m a downgrade…” Johnathan began quietly. “…do you?”

Nancy stared at him. “What…? No, no way!” His eyes held all the pain of a man who was being lied to; she angrily grabbed his arm. “You’re better than this, Johnathan! You’re better than him!” She exclaimed. He looked stung and tried to turn away but she held him fast. “He can’t be better than you, because I _love_ you!” She blurted. Her face turned as red as a tomato but the expression on his face when he finally looked into her eyes gave her heart wings. She took a tiny breath. “And I never loved Steve.”

Nancy’s voice was so small and so quiet that she was afraid Johnathan hadn’t heard her, but it didn’t matter because he took her in his arms, wrapping her up in a way she always wished a boy would wrap her up and embracing her with all his might. She clung to him with all the strength in her pale white hands. He felt so sturdy and so right. Soaking up the strength of his love for her, she closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of his jacket, his cologne, his hair; she felt his lips against her temple and knew then that choosing to love him hadn’t been a mistake.

It had never been a mistake. Her only mistake had been her fear. That fear dissipated, leaving her with nothing but dizzying butterflies and a wave of lust. They came together like breaking waves. Her body yielded to his, his mouth yielded to hers, and the car bounced on its tires as they slammed up against it in a lover’s embrace.

They got into the car and drove far and fast. Johnathan parked out behind an abandoned gas station and shut off the lights, and slid into the middle of the bench seat. In a flash Nancy was in his lap. Her clothes fell off her, pooling around them as they mixed and merged. His shirt was flung unceremoniously into the back seat. She popped his belt and the buttons on his jeans, gasping as he pushed his fingers up inside her. They kissed hotly, impatiently, Nancy teasing him to life with one hand.

When she lowered herself onto him, pleasure knocked the breath from her lungs and she hung on tight as he grabbed her waist and made love to her like it was the first time she’d ever been touched.


End file.
